Supercharge your connections with Perceptive Listening

Do you feel like you came up the ranks with superior brains and technical skills only to find that those who are louder and more "salesy" are getting promoted?

There are "technical" listening skills to learn to boost your ability to gain trust and build connections rapidly like you see some people do.  

This is perceptive listening.

We all desire connection.  We want people to listen.

One of the best ways to connect is to become a better listener.  

You will attract good listeners, and even compel those around you to listen to you.

Do you ever go to a party and you share your story and the other person theirs, and both are interesting.  You have a great, dynamic conversation, but when you go home, you feel drained.  Does this mean you are an introvert at heart?  Maybe, maybe not! 

Another day, you go to coffee with a friend, and they listen, ask questions, and pause.  You go home feeling your emotional cup is full, your heart is full.  Does this mean you are better in small groups?  Maybe.  

This second example was perceptive listening.


What is perceptive listening?


Perceptive listening is more than being quiet, paying attention, and remembering what someone says are great listening skills and still quite rare in today's society.  

Perceptive Listening takes listening and your connection to the next level:

You are quiet and listen to the other person.

You keep the topic on their topic, not bringing back to you.

You get curious about them and ask follow-up questions to what they say.

You mirror back what they say, even repeating or clarifying their words, without interrupting.

You articulate what you see, hold space for them and bear witness - they feel seen.


Isolation is a serious health risk.  


It's about survival and adrenaline. When you were a baby not having enough connections was a threat to your survival.  Your amygdala (fight or flight part of your brain) brings this instinct into our adult lives. 

When we feel isolated, the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline pulse through our bodies. 

The presence of excess stress hormones provides fertile breeding grounds for chronic disease.

We are collaborative beings.  Connection is the cure to isolation. 

People think getting comfortable speaking up, speaking in public will reduce their feeling of isolation. 

The biggest leverage point to increasing your connections with others is building your active listening skills.

In the end, it’s all about love. 

Not the old movie, grand gesture "love". In modern times, love has been studied and decoded. fMRI brain scans show that rather than huge gestures leading to love, we grow love by adding up the micro-moments of connection we can create every day.

Let's dive in to learn how to supercharge our connections in our lives.
14 Lessons